Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Cliff Diving

Lately, I've been pondering dreams. Not the kind that you comatosely will to continue because you're passionately making out with Matthew McConaughey and you want it to last forever, versus waking up and ethereally floating to the coffee maker leaving your family to wonder if you are experimenting with hallucinogenic substances.  Nor the sort that leave you breathless and gasping for air, grateful that your babies are still alive and the flesh eating beetles really were just horrifying vermin in last night's family movie experience. I'm talking about reality dreams. The kind that are made up of 1/4 cup wistfulness, 1/4 cup hard work, 1/4 cup possibility and 1/4 cup sheer guts. And when combined in the mixing bowl of daydreams, there's a remote possibility that they may come true.

For me, dreams are about passion. Risk. Defying logic, and jumping off the cliff, trusting that the water is deep enough and the adrenaline will carry you through to the other side, ready to climb back up and do it all over again. But knowing that if it's too scary, you can just walk back to the car and drive home, pleased as punch that you gave it a shot. I crave adrenaline. Maybe not to the extreme of catapulting myself into the air and careening with a splash as I smack the surface of the water, but definitely the feeling afterwards - the rush. I want to experience something extraordinary every day, and oftentimes I have to push myself to do so.

With a very grateful perspective and an adrenaline rush awaiting me, I bid adieu to my current employer to follow a life-long dream. Starting next week, I will pursue a career in writing.

Part of me expects nothing more than to amuse myself, blog more consistently and complete a novel I started ten years ago. Getting that sucker published will be icing on the cake. Then the daydreams kick in. What if I walk into a bookstore and see it on the shelf, reviewed by one of the employees with glowing remarks? What if it blinks up at me on my iPad when I launch the kindle store searching for a new read? What if a latte sipper at Starbucks giggles out loud while reading it in one of their plush purple chairs? What if, when asked about my haute couture on the red carpet for my book-turned-movie, I announce: "Valentino?"

If that ever happens, my friends, I guarantee you I'll need a catheter for the evening, not to mention a personal trainer to kick my butt for twelve months leading up to the event. See how these dreams can snowball?

I love that I sound naive. I love that I have so much to learn. I love that I have the end in mind, but the journey is undetermined. But most of all, I am thrilled to have bigger dreams now than when I was 20. It makes me wonder what I'll be dreaming about at the age of 60, or even 80. I never want to stop.

I am forever grateful for my current and former employers, work associates and customers for teaching me so many important life lessons in preparation for this quest. Most importantly, how to handle rejection. That skill will undoubtedly come in handy once I start shopping my novel around. And for understanding technology. Which will save my ass when I realize that nobody is interested in said manuscript, and I have to self-publish.

This blog provides me with an outlet to muse on life, family and friendships. I wasn't even sure if I had the goods to pursue writing. But since I started putting my thoughts to screen, so many people have supported me. Many people who don't know a thing about this dream encouraged me to write. They said things like:

"I don't know what you're trying to accomplish here, but you should really consider a career in writing."

"I love your style."

"You should enter this blogging contest."

"I want the first signed copy."

"I'd read anything you'd be willing to write about."

"Can I be your personal assistant? Editor? Bodyguard?"  For real. You all crack me up.

People, you truly have no idea how much you've inspired me to take this leap. To be a better person, a better mom, a better friend, a better writer.

And to Mr. biggest cheerleader...who read the first few chapters of that book long ago and believes I'm onto something special...Thank you, Babe, for your unwavering support and encouragement. I could never do this alone, and I love you for your confidence and support in me.

And for your muscles.

And, of course, for your extraordinary fishing skills.

Please keep reading...I've got a cliff to leap off.



  1. That is awesome Jen and I wish you nothing but the best on your journey in writing! You definitely have a talent for sure! I can't wait to read what you write. I too want to write a book about my journey with my son, but I too am scared to "take that jump." For now I'll continue reading your wonderful blogs and hopefully become even more inspired! :)


  2. Thanks so much, Cara! And you can do it...we all have a story worth telling.


  3. I wish you the best of luck Jen!! You are truly gifted in your writing and I don't think you'll have any problems getting published. I can't wait to read what you've been writing and I will continue to read your blogs. You definitely are an inspiring person!!!


  4. P.S. I need to bring my husband up to your lake to fish! That is a nice looking bass your hubby is holding!!!

  5. AWESOME! Good luck!

  6. Karlene, thank you for the kind words...and we'll def have to get your husband up there fishing! It was rather slow this summer, but picked up in the fall.

    Lorraina, thanks to you too. Can't wait to see you and hope things are going well out West.