Thursday, May 26, 2016

The Tip Jar

Listen up, Parents of Graduates. If you haven't yet hosted a party for your matriculating offspring, take 10 seconds and write something along the lines of this on an 8x10 sheet of white paper:

"TIP JAR! Please share some words of wisdom with the graduate." 

Place the instructions along with a few pens next to a sealable glass jar, preferably where the liquor flows during the graduation party, if you're into that kind of thing.

The day after her party, Kahley read her tips over coffee aloud while we all giggled along to the words of encouragement.
She was so smitten with the sage advice that she asked if we could decorate the jar so she can keep it in her dorm room and re-read the tips when she wants a little piece of home. A great mom would have already decorated the jar. But I'm a "just in time" kinda gal, so it's a miracle she got the darned thing at all. We plan on bedazzling it while watching The Bachelorette Monday night. She wants it to match the shades of aqua and coral she's decorating the rest of her dorm room in. 

Here, in no specific order, are her tips:

1. Always steal his shirt and make a quilt post college.

2. Don't be a dumbass.

3. Don't suck at life.  

4. Do things that will make your Mom proud. (thank you - whoever wrote that one)

5. Beer before liquor, never sicker. Liquor before beer, in the clear.

6. Enjoy. Take the time to enjoy yourself.


8. St. Louis beats Chicago. (from Grandpa. Isn't he hilarious?)

9. Always smile.

10. Regret nothing. It's a waste of time and energy.

11. Don't believe Senior Guys. THEY LIE!!!

12. Take a deep breath - take it all in. Enjoy, live and love every moment!

13. It's Lit.

14. Drink lots of water!!

15. study hard. party harder.

16. Remember - Madison does not salt their roads (God Forbid they kill the fish). Drive Safe!

17. Don't screw it up

18. Cs get degrees.

19. Don't eat the yellow snow.

20. Remember - future employers can access Facebook.

21. Hug the Keg.

22. Don't reach for the stars - you might burn your fingers.

23. For terrible hangovers - mix 1 Tbsp baking soda with a glass of water.

24. Don't do ANYTHING that I did!

25. Keep your legs together tight!

26. Remember when you're going out: Dress cute, because you never know when you'll do the walk of shame.

Put a Tip Jar out for your Grad. He or she will love it, and your party guests will have a blast sharing their wisdom. Especially after they've downed a few adult beverages. :)


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